About Us
Our Story
It was 11 years ago in February 2010 that I saw my dad for the last time. He picked me up from school on a Thursday afternoon with a container of pork fried rice from our favorite Chinese food restaurant and drove me to my friends house a few towns over to spend the rest of my evening there.
As I got out of the car he told me he would pick me up later and gave me one of his old sayings - “remember to stay HAGSAT, happy and good strong and tough.” He told me he loved me and I sprinted out of the car with my backpack and half a box of pork fried rice to go play with my friends.
Hours passed and it started to snow. My dad hadn’t come to get me and wasn’t answering his phone. My mom and him were in the middle of a divorce so were separated at the time (more on that another time) so you could imagine how mad she was when he didn’t show up and she had to drive all the way in the snow to get me.
The next day, I still hadn’t heard from him. His disappearance immediately got the attention of the law enforcement community as there were countless different agencies out looking for him since he was one of their own. They spent all day Friday looking for him. Still no luck. On Saturday, he was finally located. Local police found his old red 1999 Chevy Trailblazer parked in the back of the local high school near the woods. They searched the woods and finally found him around 10am.
I’ll never forget where I was when I found out. I was in my upstairs of my house hanging out with my aunt (who had feared the worst already but didn’t let me know so I wouldn’t get upset). I hear this awful wailing coming from downstairs - a sound I’ve never heard before in my life. It was my mom. I ran downstairs to see her only to be escorted into one of the guest bedrooms by a DEA agent followed by my aunt who then broke the news to me. I wish I could put into words what I felt but it is almost incomprehensible.
As time passed, I thought more and more about what he did and why he did it. The warning signs were there - we just all missed them. He was gifting people expensive things and would tell me he was moving somewhere soon but would never tell me where. Since then I have been hyper aware of warning signs, particularly with myself and I am able to recognize them and seek help immediately.
I started HAGSAT Foundation because I was sick and tired of pretending that I was okay all the time. I saw the apertures in our national rhetoric surrounding mental health and the unfortunate stigma behind it. What people struggling with depression and other mental illnesses need to hear are not part of the universal conversation. My father, sister and countless others needed to hear that they weren't defined to their struggles, that seeking help is a sign of strength not weakness, and that they deserve to get better because the world needs them out here.
It's never too late to get help and get HAGSAT.
- Greg Collier, Founder and Executive Director of HAGSAT Foundation